Lights Out (just dropped in)

I woke up this morning with the lights out, I was blind
I dumped my mind in a place that I couldn't find
I soared but I stumbled so I roared and I rumbled, but then
I tripped on a cloud and I crashed all over again

I picked myself up and shouted a curse at the sky
It came back to me, and I knew that the end is nigh
No comfort here, I'd never played this game before
So I just walked on till I couldn't walk on no more

I came to a door at the end of the road, but it was guarded
I didn't say a prayer for I know the seas were never parted
I pushed through in and saw myself sitting on a bed
I asked myself, "what brings you here?", and I said

"I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in."
(Yeah, yeah, oh yeah what condition my condition was in)

A matter of reality

Beneath the veil of nothingness, nothing survives. Or maybe is simply revealed to have been an illusion all along. It's a liberating realization. The only downside is that the liberation is as meaningless as the illusion. Sometimes I'm tempted to leave in search of a suitable vantage point from where I can witness the story unfold in all its grand absurdness. But then I'm struck by the thought that this was the exact purpose of many quests in the past, most of which ended in the form of one religion or another. This scares me more than most things. Is my non-belief in any kind of belief beginning to take the shape of a belief in itself?

Hahahaha, everytime I start taking myself seriously I'm reminded of these gems,

"Ve vant ze money, or ve fucks you up"

"I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism Dude, at least it's an ethos"

"He's a nihilist, he doesn't care about anything"

"That must be exhausting"

So anyway, let's end this, whatever this is, with a verse. Cos verses rhyme (unless written by Eddie Vedder), and as long as they do, nobody gives a shit about what they mean. That's the kind of comedic freedom I try to live with.

Flowing, through and over and past everything
Taking me within and with itself
It puts me on the stage, but assigns me no part
It lives inside every song I sing
And secretly smiles when I act too smart
(Does it laugh outrageously when I fart?)

It didn't create Sunday masses and sacrificial altars
It never attempts to guide me towards the light
('Cos isn't the stage where the light is?)
The set of instructions is rather sparse
Enter stage left, and exit to the right

Everything in between comes to me all at once
Every stupid smile and every seething scar
It’s all the same to me unless they kill my fucking car
There are no prophecies that can explain my being
I was born to play my part in the circus of nothing

And all that stands between the final dance
Is everything that I will ever know in this play
Fruitcakes and milkshakes and impossible distance
And then maybe some salvation one fine day

The onlyest way to find out is to find out

To be cuntinude...

How to shoot somebody who outdrew ya

There are these things
That were never said
About these wounds
That never bled
But allow me this tiny temerity

When mermaids sing
I don't pay heed
When fairies die
I sow some seeds
And leave their graves to gravity

But you…oh you
Damndest little mistake
One of those few
That I never usually make
Let’s just blame this on depravity

Or maybe Macavity, for he wasn’t there after all

So as you take position, take a good aim at my loneliness
Revolve ‘er before you shoot ‘er, it's more homogeneous

Do please burn my ego, smolder my vanity on a funeral pyre
I know it’s been said before, but c’mon baby light my fire

But step lightly on the pedal of this rotten excuse for a love song
This overrated angst has been understated far too long

Let us go then, you and I
No more excuses left to get by

American Dream

These ghosts are making rounds for their next sack-attack
They’ll steal your huddled masses on my worn-out back
So while you run and hide your lives, they whirr and they chime
The rules of yore don’t work in this new paradigm
And all I wanna do is clean the surface of rust
For all you do and see and love is glorified dust
So smell your pyrrhic wins before I plunge this stake
A weep-inducing sleep from which I’ll never wake, no…

(Chorus)
Sugar, sugar on the run
Is your dream American?
Take it all in on your stride
It is sinking, falling down
Hide your heads deep in the sand
Let’s turn forever hand in hand
Brothers and sisters on the run
Is everybody in?

Your past will stain your future with a deep, deep red
And happiness will warm your lips but wet your bed
So realign your futons, it’s amusing to see
For all you did and saw and loved is the enemy
My leaden eyes and guilty mind can barely perceive
This overrated progeny of Adam and Eve
Now make a run for it for you are happiness-bound
A million wracking nerves don’t make the tiniest sound

(Chorus)

सबब-ऐ-उदासी - ८३, ८४, ८५, ८६

नज़र आये कभी यूँ ही कहीं ख़्वाबों का नामाबर
नही दो ध्यान ये बेकार की माज़ीपरस्ती है
कभी मिल जाए फुर्सत दो कदम पीछे पलटने की
तो रखो याद यहाँ मौत भी फुर्सत से सस्ती है

नदी पेड़ पहाड़ पत्थर - 71, 72, 73, 74

कभी सोते में जागे तो कभी जगते में सो लिए
इस ख्वाबीदा ज़िन्दगी की किस्मत में अब ख्वाब नही
पलकों से फूटता ये नूर का दरिया भी है धोखा
उफक पर डूब जायेंगे मगर हम आफताब नही

For those who are confused, the title is my favourite sher of all time. And just in case, Sudhanshu drops by with a "jitni urdu aati thi ek baar mein....", here's the disclaimer too.

Disclaimer
मौसिकी का जूनून तो था ही, अब शायरी में भी दखल रखते हैं
महफिल में कहीं रुसवा न होना पड़े, बगल में हमेशा "Best of Ghalib" की नक़ल रखते हैं

Instrumental a-capella

Desolate in its happiness
Yet pervades the world at hand
Perked up in a lemon dress
Lonesome trail through crowded lands

Lonesome trail through crowded lands
Into the murky labyrinthine
Surrounded by some absent friends
The elements of a grand design

The elements of a grand design
That is too grand to be revealed
From up above the heavens nine
Down to the ninth orange peel

Down to the ninth orange peel
Where beats the demon's heart in sync
It rides around on high pink heels
And floats on zeppelins bound to sink

And floats on zeppelins bound to sink
It gathers moss in a vulgar dance
But who can tell what insects drink
When they stop by by happenstance

When they stop by by happenstance
To see it bounded up in chains
Salvation has an even chance
But it can't help falling in pain